It appears you don't have PDF support in this web browser. Download PDF
It appears you don't have PDF support in this web browser. Download PDF
The Gay AgendaThe Gay Agenda
we unpacked the car in hundred-and-ten degree heat
home after our three-months, big-haul supermarket run
stared at the late season watermelon
we grabbed on an impulse
I got the cutting board and a bowl for rinds
you got the never-dull, wedding-gift ceramic knife
we tore into our pieces at the same time
swamping desert thirst in southern fruit
pretending we were comfortably cool
believing it during each bite
I opened a new paper towel roll (we had been out)
you gave me the next slice, cut yourself another
we ate the whole damn thing in one sitting, not talking
just munching one icy wedge after another
until I mumbled a joke you made me repeat
(had to slurp-swallow to do it)
I said, “I said, I think this makes us—”
you, with a fresh juice smile, finished: “—a couple of fruits.”
you secretly want her faults so
you can have something to say
you were like her, you have
something of hers. only
i think her faults skipped you
and went straight to me. i
like to collect things i'll
never touch again, collect thoughts
and collect pasts only to
stash them in the cupboard
so i dont open the doors.
its the silences in between
that makes me think of her. and
i think of her everyday
i do i do. i even started
wearing her pocket watch
again because it makes me
feel like im doing something
i know you deserved
half of me
remember the days i was
lonely and i was terrible and
i was mean and i was.
i was not your
i was not i was not and im
sorry, so so sorry.
you dont need to shout for
me to listen. i'll listen
even if you
whisper. even if you
say nothing at all.
i like to keep secrets and i
guess im like my grandma, li
Abortion - Dead Before BornToday, I will face my indelible death
My life will be silenced, though I am still unborn
My Mommas eyes, stained with sorrow
As she wipes away the tears, her cheeks have worn
But she promises to herself, that she wont mourn
For I am a product of her illegitimate mistake
A consequence of a love, forbidden and torn
And eradicating me is her only route of escape
Though there is no glimpse of light where I am hidden
I know the world beyond this womb is filled with colour
That there is transcendental beauty my eyes will never see
And a life I will never have the chance to savour
Defenselessly I will descend to ashes
By a remorseless choice made from shame
My loveless existence will be aborted
And my fathomless dreams, buried in a grave
Never will I consume my first breath of air
Or experience the effervescence of laughter
Never will I know the meaning of love
Or envision my future from hereafter
If only at this moment, I was given a voice
To speak to Momma and comfort her woes
still,"i want grandchildren."
that car ride ruined some things
threw a wine bottle at the wall
15 years sitting
it was good enough or
it wasn't good enough
all the silence forced
my pride to jump out the window
if any rested in her
she showed it off like a speech bubble
tied it to her teeth
slammed it in the door
had it under her pillow for months
and years and years and years
there was no statement
there was no outstretched hand
just steering wheel clenching
knuckles white and jaw taut
(all because who i bed was not her mindful of
i still think i'm a tumor
she shows it off like a speeding ticket
i put a pin through it
i put it on her sweater
she never wears it
AbortionCan't you give me one more day,
One last chance?
I could be your little girl,
Your very own child.
I'm your baby,
And I love you.
Don't you love me?
I'm sorry if I hurt you,
Though I don't see how I could.
What have I done to make you hate me?
I'll never get to see you,
Never get to touch your soft hands,
Never get to know you as my mother.
You'll never know what I'm like.
If I'm loud or shy,
Tall or small,
Happy or sad,
Framed[ I met him at the county fair.
It wasn't like the songs predicted;
I had mud up my shins and he
had grass in his hair. What a mess. ]
[ I kissed him at my grandma's house.
He swallowed me and digested me;
I became a part of his simmering self.
We fused together, and I died. ]
[ I married him in a triangular church,
When I turned up in white he grinned
and whispered "what, no muddy knees?".
I put a leaf from my bouquet in his hair. ]
[ He kissed her at my grandma's house.
She had left it to us when she passed.
In the house where I'd learned about love
he taught me all I know about betrayal. ]
[ He left me at the train station.
I'd helped him with his leather suitcase,
struggling to get a grip of the situation
I gave a habitual kiss goodbye. Awkward. ]
[ He met another girl in group therapy.
They had a mad, passionate affair for a year
then, it expired. Shortly after, she did too.
He came to me, life turning to sand. ]
[ I forgave him at my birthday party
surrounded by friends wh
eloge [la jeunesse d'une cousine]1.
i was nine and you'd just
taken a third year when our
grandfather taught you how to box
on the overwaxed hardwood in his
kitchen; i was reading you some book
about a purple lizard; he put his teeth
on the table, crouched
and said: "hit me
on the mouth"
[you would have cracked his teeth if
they weren't removed, you were
a loaf of heavy bread made with
too much shortening and not enough restraint]
laughing you punched him again—
in the gut this time—but
after he chastised your form
you spent the balance of the month of august
practicing instead on my arms
you came of age in a trailer park
full of nostalgia for the 1970s and i
grew up in a yellow house
in the middle of a gothic suburbia:
neither would serve us
long, we said.
you had an enviable stoicness and i had
gutrot the day of our grandfather's interment:
you gave me tissues, told me
we would go on enduring, asked me
for a cigarette and then
spent twenty minutes vomiting on the carpet
of my car between puffs
To My little brother, love Mario.There are days where we get along, there are days where we fight.
There are days where we love each other, and days where we hate each other.
There are days where I hurt you and days you hurt me.
Even though we say such harsh things to each other, we never forget to say I'm sorry and ending it with I love you bro.
There are times where I made you feel low, and times where you made me feel like such a jerk.
There are times where I've ignored you over my favorite lady, and times where you knocked me down out of spite.
There are times where I'd let you fall, and times you laughed at my own misfortunes.
None the less, when we really hurt each other we always say to each other I'm sorry and end it with I love you bro.
There are adventures that I have gone on with of without you, whether you wanted to come or not.
There are Adventures I have gone on that you wanted to come, but said no to. I suppose the feelings and instincts of being an overprotective brother kicked in.
Though to be fair th
MotherAs you sweat over petunias,
I watch shadows
pour from chlorophyll branches.
when delphiniums bloom,
on your roses.
You tramp with shovels, rakes,
And garden hoes,
dancing in lime green galoshes,
to the passing tempo of July.
All while my minutes bunch
at the windowsill,
a half-done row of knitting
cast aside. I recollect my thread and leave
to forage for dinner in the kitchen.