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mother did not hang the moonthe shallow craters
beneath her cheekbones yawn.
creamy round features glow,
basking in the light of her son.
six thousand four hundred and forty-one(10366 kilometers, you remind gently)
even from that length
ardent arms never smother,
grant me asylum
your voice resonates from
the tenderest of ghosts
i am old as the dawn,
caretakers far beyond my tenure,
yet your sighs
your butterfly kisses
tuck me in nightly
and i would not trade you for
spider-girl aches for you
more than she can say
in your favored tongue
I can't wait to leaveI can't wait to leave
To leave and feel the fear become swallowed by reality
The reality of leaving
For so long, I've been tortured and beaten
I wish I could show someone what they've done to me without making me share the blame of why Doctors declare I'm not "Mentally stable"
That I can't be left home alone
That I can't be trusted with knives
That I have to take pills to be happy
But I'll never be happy.
Not as long as I live here
I'm scared of messing up and doing something wrong because then they'll find a reason to hit me
To beat me till I can barely talk
So I won't have to tell anyone what they do
What they've done
And what they still do
One time, I couldn't carry a gallon of milk because it was heavier than me and I spilled my cup all over the kitchen table
Then she grabbed me by arm and smacked anywhere that I would let her until I was left with hand marks and couldn't get up
She made me clean it and I just decided to try and sleep the pain away
I was thirsty for days.
"You're smile is grand."
"You look great."
It's all lies.
I'm none of those things.
I'm a mutt.
A lost dog without known heritage
looking for acceptance from it's "family"
The process is long.
It's a bitter, cold war that no one wins
And that acceptance is never going to be there
Because I'm not good enough.
I can't reach those standards set for me.
"You aren't pansexual,
don't tell anyone that."
"You aren't an atheist,
You just haven't found God, yet."
"You aren't anyone's friend,
You haven't been fixed.."
"You aren't accept,
You aren't good enough, yet."
When will families just accept their children?
No parent hears the cries,
No parent wants to accept these things,
No parent wants a failure of child.
Yet, I'm here.
Lie after lie after lie is told.
Mother treats me like I'm a roach,
Father disregards me.
I'm the housemate.
I'm the failure
Part of me screams:
I give up.
Yet, the other part knows everyth
vi.he lights candles in the night
not to keep his dark away,
but to burn away the scent of decay.
in the mornings he says hello with
skin & breath that still smell like tar.
I shall never date.Too many heartbreaks.
Too many let downs.
Too much friends gone.
I shall never date.
Something I am sure to regret in the future.
But not while I am in the past.
You're Not My FamilyI was kept blissfully ignorant while
worlds tumbled down around me.
They have the audacity to keep things
from me until I find out when I'm
not supposed to.
He was arrested in the summer &
they kept up the facade that everything
was fine even as
his eyes grew dark & his fists clenched.
He was always ready for a fight.
They only thought to tell me after
he ran out of the house screaming
one sentence that shattered my fragile world.
Those words still play on repeat in my head & nightmares.
Transmitting on the
The carrier wave
Of the galaxy.
What your ears tune in
When they're all alone.
Nature's 'Top Forty'
Direct to your bones!
You're Still HerePanic. Going for the check
You ready yourself
the Bump - discovery today
Ultrasound, that small screen filled
a cloud? The brain.
The meaning, anything.
Now they grow, a person.
You help them through
you won't let that hold them back.
They've grown now
but you should know;
walking at 2 - the frame
she's rid of it, but
you're still here.
Hard days. Easy days.
They come and go,
you're still there.
By her side.
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Endorell-Taelos is very well known within the community for her selfless giving and gracious community spirit. Since joining DeviantART over seven years ago, Alicia has continued to make a positive impact on many deviants. Her helpful and thoughtful approach was one of her finest attributes when serving as a Community Volunteer, and this has continued throughout the many contests which Alicia provides on a regular basis. As we approach our Birthday celebrations, we can't... Read More